


Have You Been With Anyone Since We Broke Up?

by easemyworriedmind



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Bisexual Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Rafael Barba, Cheating, Exes, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Smut, Threesomes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-05-28 18:26:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15055121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easemyworriedmind/pseuds/easemyworriedmind
Summary: Idk! Just check the tags! Okay bye!





	1. Chapter 1

“So have you been with anyone since we split up?” Rafael asked, casually. It’d been five months since Sonny last saw him, four since they spoke. That morning, Sonny had arrived at work to find an email in his inbox. Familiar address. No subject line. A brief body: “I’m back in the city. Come by for a drink later?”

He’d almost thrown his computer at the wall, but it was a desktop and he’s sure it’d have come out of his paycheck. He’d tried to ignore it. Tried to work. But the email burned. So after thirty minutes, he’d replied — as nonchalantly as the initial ask — “Sure. Around 7?” And Rafael had responded, “See you then.”

And now here they were. Exes. Sitting across from each other, Rafael in an armchair, Sonny on the couch. Rafael holding a tumbler of scotch, Sonny a beer. Rafael heard about Gina’s newest fiance, Sonny heard how Lucia’s family in Havana was doing. He gave him some work gossip. Rafael asked about his unused law degree. They were three drinks in each when the polite conversation ran out. And Rafael had finally asked the question they’d both been swallowing all night.

“Rafi,” Sonny said, gently. It didn’t need to go this way. They could say it’d been fun catching up. Sonny would go back to work and tell everyone he and Barba were fine and that he looked good. Barba could know Sonny wasn’t the devastated, sobbing mess he’d left him as five months before. They could pretend, the way exes pretend. There was still time for this to have just been a fine and pleasant evening.

Rafael shrugged, sipping his drink. “I have,” he said. It took a moment for Sonny’s brain to comprehend what that meant. He’d what? Oh. “Oh,” Sonny said, immediately feeling stupid.

Sonny blinked, “Okay.” His mouth kept moving even as he knew he was walking into a trap. 

“I won’t be upset if you have,” Rafael smirked. “I’ll honestly be upset if you haven’t.”

Sonny laughed, breaking the tension. “Do you have such little faith in me?” He teased, and Rafael nodded. “I do, yes. I bet you’ve been celibate this whole time, like a good Catholic boy.”

“I was never quite good enough to be that,” Sonny said. He killed his beer, getting up the few feet to the fridge to grab another. He tilted one at Rafael but he declined, gesturing to the open bottle of scotch in front of him. 

Sonny was just sitting down and taking his first sip when Rafael said coolly, “I fucked two guys in Havana.” 

Sonny used his whole body not to choke on his beer. “Oh?” He finally managed. When he looked up, Rafael was making eye contact.

“Yeah,” he said. “One was this gorgeous Haitian-Creole guy I met at some bar during the first couple weeks I was there.” Sonny tried not to imagine how soon after their break up that was. Rafael continued, “I was staying with my mother’s family in their house so we went his hotel. It was good. We fucked again in the morning, slower. He was only there on vacation, unfortunately, so he had to go a couple days after that.”

“You didn’t want to, uh, stay in touch?” He asked, trying to maintain the illusion that this was two buddies bonding over sex stories. Rafael rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t a stay-in-touch situation,” he said. Sonny nodded, “No, I guess not. Too bad.”

Rafael finished his drink and poured another. “I must have a thing for accents,” he said. It was the evening’s first acknowledgment that they were anything but old co-workers. Sonny blushed, “I don’t think Staten Island compares to French-Creole, Raf. One is sexy, the other is just…”

Rafael shrugged, “Staten Island was sexy.” Sonny blushed again, taking another sip of his beer, which now felt slippery in his sweaty hand. 

Rafael stood. “Are you going to drink beer all night or can I convince you to switch to tequila?” He walked behind Sonny into the kitchen, pulling a bottle from one of the higher shelves and setting it down on the table between them with two small shot glasses from a lower shelf. Sonny rubbed his forehead with one palm, “Oof,” he said. Rafael laughed. “Look,” he said, sitting beside Sonny on the couch now, far enough away to be friendly, close enough that now Sonny could smell his cologne. “We have to just have this conversation, I think, before it becomes too…”

“Intense?” Sonny provided, although their environment already seemed pretty intense to him. They were sitting on a couch they used to regularly have sex on, talking about the other people they’d had sex with recently. But he guessed, it was part of being friends with your ex and it was already happening so…

Sonny hesitated a second and then took the bottle, pouring them each a shot. “Okay,” he said. “Okay, let’s have this conversation.” He downed his shot. Rafael looked pleased and relieved, right before he took his too.

“Okay,” he said, sitting back, even as Sonny kept leaning forward. “Have you been with anyone?”

“A few people,” Sonny said, and even saying it out loud made his chest hurt. He didn’t want to look at Rafael so he kept staring forward. He didn’t want to see his reaction, or worse, lack of reaction. “A couple random, uh, like above the waist, stupid, bar make outs,” he said. “Guys and girls and in between, etc.”

“Vague,” Rafael snorted. “I told you I got fucked by an Idris-Elba look-a-like tourist. Is that all you got?”

Sonny blushed. “I have…. I have a horrible one.” Rafael leaned forward, catching his eye in a show of solidarity and non-judgement. Sonny winced and chuckled awkwardly. 

“You have to tell me,” Rafael pleaded, like Sonny was withholding an inside joke. Sonny dropped his head into his hands and so it was barely perceptible when he said, “I went down on Amanda.”

Rafael pulled his face back up by his shoulder. His hand felt heavy on Sonny’s body. They hadn’t touched in five months. “We’re gonna need more tequila,” Rafael said. Sonny snorted. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Maybe this was even fun? Rafael poured them each another shot and they took it. He shook his head, as if clearing cobwebs. “Okay,” Rafael said. “You what?”

“Oh, god,” Sonny groaned, babbling and avoiding Rafael’s eyes. “I don’t know. We’d had like, a really shit week and a shit case and I went over there to cook for her and Jessie, like I always do, and we put Jessie to bed and then we were just sitting like, splayed out on her couch and she said something about being unable to relax and I just… offered?”

He turned to look at Rafael who was staring at him incredulously. “You said…”

“Would you want me to… help you out?” Sonny turned bright red. There was a small beat and then Rafael just cracked up. His laughter started in his shoulders and shook down into his belly. His eyes scrunched up and he full-on cackled. Sonny was almost offended, but then he was laughing too.

“Oh my god,” Rafael said, catching his breath. “I don’t know what’s funnier. That you did that or that she said okay.”

“Yeah, I don’t know if she knows why she said okay,” he admitted. “And of course like…”

Rafael put his hand up. He already knew. “You’ve never talked about it.”

“Not once,” he said and they both cracked up again. Rafael looked good laughing. Sonny remembered always feeling pride at being able to make him laugh. “I think she took pity on me, honestly.”

“And how was it for you?” Rafael asked, once they’d calmed down a bit. Sonny took a couple swallows of his beer, which was still on the table beside their shot glasses. “I walked home with a hard-on and then jerked off in the shower,” he said, straight-faced. They looked at each other and then both doubled over laughing again. 

Rafael poured just himself another shot and took it. “There is not enough alcohol in the world for that story,” he said, but he was joking. His tone was light. Sonny finished his beer. They sat like that in comfortable, familiar silence for a minute. Sonny almost closed his eyes. It felt like no time had passed at all. Like maybe he could reach over and hold his ex-boyfriend’s hand. Just as he was getting comfortable, Rafael spoke.

“The other guy I fucked in Havana had a mustache,” he said, measured. Sonny didn’t look over and didn’t respond. “It made me think about what it would have been like if we’d been fucking while you had yours.”

Sonny’s heart pounded in his chest. “You didn’t like me much then,” he said, neutral.

Rafael shifted his weight a little, closer to Sonny. “I don’t like you much now,” he said. When Sonny looked over, he was smiling. Sonny smiled too. 

“The mustache tickled,” he said, simply. 

Sonny shrugged, “I wasn’t fucking guys when I had it so I can’t tell you if that’s a common experience.”

“It didn’t tickle while we were fucking. It tickled while he was blowing me,” Rafael said, and then in the same tone, as if nothing about the conversation had changed, he added, “When did you start sleeping with Stone?”

Sonny blinked. How on Earth did this man ALWAYS get the upper hand on him? He should have known from the second he walked into Rafael’s apartment that he was being set up. His ex was a lawyer, a fucking great one, but he was a detective. How did he always end up floundering under Rafael’s cool gaze and slick words? From day one this had been their dynamic, and Sonny still hadn’t learned.

“Rafi,” he said, for lack of anything else to say.

Rafael looked unmoved, “I mean, it’s nice to see he’s replaced me in all facets of my former life. The man truly has a gift.”

“It’s not like that,” Sonny said, knowing perfectly well it was like that. 

“It’s fine,” Rafael said, dismissively. He scooted over away from Sonny and poured himself another scotch. “Do you want another beer?” He asked. 

Sonny had conversational whiplash. He couldn’t tell if Rafael was angry about Stone or angry that Sonny didn’t tell him about Stone or not angry at all. Was it Sonny’s brightest idea to sleep with the guy who’d prosecuted his ex-boyfriend? Of course not. Sonny was full of not so bright ideas. Rafael knew that. Plus, Peter had just been doing his job. It hadn’t been personal. But he knew how it looked. The guy had Rafael’s old office. His old assistant. His old “cop booty call.” Rafael had to feel something about that. Sonny had made the most hurtful choice in rebound imaginable, other than maybe Liv.

“Um, sure,” Sonny said, watching Rafael glide to the refrigerator, hand him an open bottle and seamlessly sit back in his armchair.

“Liv only told me because I asked directly,” he said. “Don’t be angry at her.” He sipped his drink. Sonny still couldn’t read him. “Is it serious?”

Sonny groaned. “Why are you like this?”

Rafael tilted his head, “Like what?”

“Like this,” Sonny said. “Why couldn’t you just start by telling me you knew I was seeing Stone? Why did you have to make me walk into it?”

Rafael looked down into his drink and shrugged. “Did you know there are apps for threesomes?,” he said. 

Sonny threw his hands up in the air in confusion, “Of course I know that. I work sex crimes.”

“I met a couple on one. Law students.” Sonny made a face and Rafael rolled his eyes. “Not any of your former classmates. I checked.”

He swirled his drink in his glass. “Anyway, they were looking for a bi guy who spoke Spanish. She was a tiny little thing. I bounced her on my cock while her boyfriend licked her nipples until she came.” He did not look up, but Sonny couldn’t keep his eyes off him. “She wanted to call me Papi.”

Sonny swallowed, his throat dry. Rafael thought he was the only one who could play games? He wasn’t. “That’s my thing,” he said. Rafael smirked, “It’s every gringo’s thing, Sonny.”

Sonny stared silently until Rafael finally looked up at him, then he said, “Not the way I did it though.”

Rafael’s expression was still unreadable but quietly, he conceded, “No, Sonny. Not the way you did it.”

At that, Sonny’s whole body went aflame. His vision narrowed. His neck was sweating. A blaring alarm in his head screamed out in danger. Rafael finished his drink and stood, plopping himself back down next to Sonny on the couch, closer than before. A familiar back-and-forth flared. Sonny being on his toes. Rafael always having to get the last word. Sonny surprisingly holding his own.

“Does he bottom for you?” Rafael asked. 

Sonny rolled his eyes, “Why do you care?,” he spat back. He knew Rafael liked him a little petulant. It was so, so easy to fall into their old pattern. It was like slipping on a lost glove. Rafael would push. Sonny would pout and then push back. 

“It’s interesting,” Rafael said. “This big, strong baseball-playing masc. If I were fucking him, I’d want him to top. Then again, subverting that might be what does it for you. And he’s got Daddy issues on par with mine. That’s probably part of it.”

“Watch it,” Sonny said. 

Rafael smirked, putting one hand up in surrender. “Sorry. I just didn’t take him for your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Sonny replied.

“Other than ADAs, I guess.” Rafael snorted. “Sorry. Are you exclusive?”

“It hasn’t come up,” Sonny said. “He’s a really good person, Raf. He says what he means. He’s communicative. He’s thoughtful. He’s kind.” Push, pout, push, pout.

Rafael looked like he had more to say, but instead, in a rare pivot for him, he dropped it. 

“Okay. Excellent answers, detective,” Rafael said. “And that’s everyone?”

Sonny nodded. They sat like that on the couch for a few seconds and stared at each other, bodies facing out, heads tilted in. Sonny felt like he was next to a mountain lion and unable to make even one wrong move, but as usual with Rafael, he didn’t know what the right or wrong moves would even be.

Sonny pulled his beer up and quickly took down half of it. Rafael nodded, “Amen to that,” he said.

Sonny wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Did you fuck the guy?” Rafael furrowed his brow. Sonny continued, “The guy from the couple. Did you fuck him?”

“Oh!” Rafael said. “No, it wasn’t…. It was more about her. I think he was straight.”

“Huh,” Sonny said. 

“You know, like you were,” Rafael teased. 

Sonny let a smile slip. “Oh, Rafael. You don’t really think you turned a straight guy, do you?”

Rafael laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Don’t tell me the truth, Sonny, okay? Just let me have this fantasy that you were a virgin when I met you.”

Sonny finished his beer, placing it on the table in front of them. “Half a virgin,” he quipped. He looked up and unexpectedly, Rafael was already looking at him. They were sitting too close. The sound in the room became muffled and his field of vision shrank like it did whenever one of them had mentioned their past tonight. Sonny realized he was more than a little drunk. The conversation had been overwhelming and too visual, and he hadn’t been prepared for how frank Rafael was being or how intensely he was looking at him now. He almost missed it when Rafael whispered, “Do you bottom for him?”

Sonny stopped breathing. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. He considered lying, but it felt like Rafael would know. Like it was too late. There’d been too much between them and he’d been too devastated when Rafael left. He couldn’t see the point in keeping up any sort of facade under direct questioning.

“No,” he said. And something changed in Rafael’s demeanor. Like he was now paying attention, or at least, not feigning like he wasn’t paying attention anymore. Sonny thought he could suddenly smell the other man’s blood. “I haven’t let anyone fuck me since you.”

It felt like he’d won whatever tete-a-tete they’d been having tonight when he heard Rafael’s small intake of breath between his teeth. Everything came at Sonny in flashes. Rafael licking his lips. Rafael’s eyes growing darker. Rafael’s hand clenching into a fist by his own thigh.

“Fuck,” Rafael said. He placed his other hand on the front of his jeans, pushing down. “You just made me so hard.”

Sonny nodded. He didn’t know what else to do. “I didn’t… It wasn’t because I thought you were coming back or that we’d… I just…” 

Rafael closed his eyes. It was too real. It was too fucking real now. Sonny felt out of control. Rafael rubbed himself over his pants, “Tell me again,” he said.

Sonny’s head spun. “No one but you,” he whispered. “Ever.” Rafael groaned. Sonny was drawn in to him, like there was no where else in the room to go but closer to Rafael. He’d always felt that way. He couldn’t stop.

"I've been hard this whole time. Have you?," Sonny said and Rafael nodded.

“I thought,” Sonny said, swallowing to clear his throat. “I thought we were going to be friends.” But even as he said it, he was leaning in, wanting to smell more of Rafael, to take his breath in through his nose, to soak up his heat. They were never going to talk about what went wrong between them, Sonny knew it then. None of it mattered anymore.

Rafael opened his eyes and smirked. “We are,” he said. He leaned in too, his mouth close to Sonny’s. They both smelled like liquor. Sonny didn’t pull away. He glanced down at his ex’s lips. Rafael tilted his head, ghosting breath over his chin. Sonny was so, so, so hard. 

“Until you break up with your boyfriend,” Rafael said, pulling back entirely. Sonny almost fell over forward into Rafael’s space. “What?” He coughed, dumbly.

Rafael rubbed himself through his pants a couple more times, took a deep breath, and then sighed heavily, moving his hand away. “I said,” he leaned back, stretching one arm over the couch in an attempt at relaxation. He placed the other hand on the fly of Sonny’s jeans, feeling his erection where he knew it’d be. “If you want to get fucked again, break up with your boyfriend.”

Sonny’s hips lifted into his hand, “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Break up with him anyway,” Rafael said, leaning in to lick Sonny’s earlobe. Sonny shivered. “You’re such an asshole,” he said.

Rafael stood. “You should head out,” he replied, smiling wolfishly. “It’s been so good catching up.”

—-

Sonny was sitting at his desk the next morning with a pounding hangover when an email came in with a link to an Instagram account. Sonny clicked it. It belonged to a petite 30-something brunette with an affinity for pictures of dogs and her morning latte. 

Every fourth picture or so was of her and a boyfriend around the same age. Some of them at Yankees games, some in the NYU Law library, some at the latest Instagram wall New York had to offer. The boyfriend’s face was young but he had a few distinct silver streaks running through his hair. The body of the email read: “The couple.”

Sonny clicked over to reply. “Gray, huh?” He wrote. Rafael sent back a wink. Then, a second email came through, “Break up with your boyfriend,” it said.

Sonny was so fucking screwed.


	2. Out-Classed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sonny, forever unable to handle silences, jumped in. “I was just telling Rafael about the Gearson case. How you made that piece of shit CEO piss his pants on the stand.”
> 
> “Metaphorically,” Peter added.
> 
> “I’d hope so,” Rafael quipped.
> 
> “I only did it with the cell phone evidence you gave me,” Peter said. Sonny’s ears tinged pink. What was he doing? Peter thought. Complimenting him on his prosecuting in front of Rafael, a man he’d prosecuted. Was he flirting? Peter knew games were a big part of Sonny and Rafael’s deal, but they were not really part of his.

Peter looked over at Sonny on the couch, glued to his phone. He was smiling at a text conversation Peter couldn’t see, but whoever it was, they were making Sonny pretty amused. Peter sat at the kitchen island in his apartment, slowly finishing some Pad Thai leftovers from a silver container. He didn’t know why he was pretending not to know exactly who Sonny was talking to. He thought he should feel more alarmed than he did.

“Hey,” he called out to Sonny from a few feet away. “What’s so funny?”

Sonny jumped, almost as if he was just remembering Peter was behind him. He dropped his phone down to his lap like a guilty teenager.

“It’s uh,” he hesitated but Peter still wasn’t worried. Sonny was too honest to try and hide what he already knew Peter must know. They were a cop/lawyer and a lawyer/lawyer. There was no hiding anything here. “Rafael was telling me about some date he went on last week. The woman wanted to discuss one of his old cases… extensively.”

Peter groaned, “What a nightmare. Give him my sympathies.” Sonny nodded, and picked his phone up to type some more.

Peter put the plastic top back on the leftovers, moving them to the side of the island. He stood up from the stool he was sitting on and made his way over to the couch, next to Sonny. Sonny slightly — ever so slightly — turned his phone away from Peter’s gaze.

Peter leaned back, maintaining a cool demeanor and expression. “How was seeing him?” He gently asked. 

Sonny put his phone face down on the table in front of them and scooted so he and Peter were on the same plane. “It was intense,” he said. Peter hummed, encouraging him to go on.

“Our relationship was a big deal for me,” he said, slowly. Peter touched Sonny’s back in compassion and understanding. “I know,” he replied. He kept his voice measured. He wanted Sonny to feel like he could talk to him and be open with him. He didn’t want to seem like he was leading him one way or the other. He’d learned a long time ago to differentiate between what he could control and what he just couldn’t.

He knew Sonny considered Rafael one of the big heartbreaks of his life, and that Rafael had taken off without so much as an explanation about why he’d done what he’d done and where he was going. A month later, Sonny had heard via a quick email that he was in Havana with his mother’s family and then nothing. Silence for the next four. Until a few days ago.

Peter was cautious, but unsurprised. Sonny always talked like Rafael was never coming back, but Peter knew the guy would show up again eventually, the same way he knew he was a rebound.

Sure, Peter hadn’t quite gotten around to having a serious conversation about it yet, but he was fond of the other man. He found Sonny noble and funny and sexy. He was genuine — a rare thing in this city and in this line of work. Peter knew Sonny hadn’t been looking to settle down, no matter the strength of the connection they’d made bonding over late nights and beers that eventually became this string of drama-free hook ups. To Peter, it seemed like Sonny needed a break from feeling so much for someone, and Peter was …well, new to the city and lonely. 

Not that loneliness is why he’d kissed Sonny back on the night Sonny leaned in and took their friendship sexual, but kissing him made Peter feel lighter. Sonny was one of the few people in New York who didn’t think of him as someone’s son, or as a ball player, or as anyone other than Peter. He’d needed that. 

It was simple. The sex was great. They got along great. But Peter knew their relationship lacked whatever fucked-up dynamic or passion Sonny craved from Rafael. The other man still had a very obvious grip on Sonny. 

For the last few days, Peter had been preparing himself for this to end, and he was sad, of course. The way anyone would be sad to let go of someone they’d shared intimacy with. But he also knew this wasn’t an ending, so much as a shift back. They’d continue to work together. They’d most likely stay friends. They were both peace-making types. In fact, in the two months they’d been sleeping together, there hadn’t been one fight. Not even an argument about where to order food from. They were good together. Nice.

But it wasn’t the epic love story of Sonny and Rafael. And frankly, Peter wanted his own epic love story. Maybe not like theirs. Theirs seemed really strange to him sometimes. But something like it.

“I know you don’t understand him,” Sonny said. Peter sighed. “No, I don’t,” he replied. “But I don’t have to.”

“You’re probably wondering what I even see in him anymore,” he babbled.

Peter put a comforting hand on Sonny’s arm. “I’m not wondering that,” he said. “I’m concerned because I care about you and I know how much he hurt you, but I’m not wondering what you see in him, no.”

Sonny nodded. Peter tilted his head, “Did something happen between you guys at his place?”

“Something didn’t…. not happen,” Sonny said, and Peter laughed.

“Wow, okay,” he said. “Well, look. We never said we were exclusive and I… I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know you still had feelings for him.”

“I’m sorry,” Sonny said, hanging his head. He looked miserable and guilty. But Peter felt none of that.

“I’m not upset,” he said. “I will say I’m curious about the hold he has on you.” Peter looked over at Sonny until Sonny looked back up at him. Peter smiled, friendly. Sonny smiled back.

“Believe me,” he said. “I’ve also tried to figure it out. It’s just kind of…”

“Unexplainable,” Peter said. Sonny nodded. Peter’s eyes twinkled. “Because I was thinking the sex can’t be that good,” he joked. Sonny turned bright red.

“Cut it out,” Sonny laughed. “It was just a very …formative relationship for me.”

“I bet it was,” Peter teased, and Sonny smacked his shoulder lightly with a nearby pillow. Peter used one arm to defend himself, wrenching the pillow away from Sonny and tossing it across the room. They both laughed a little.

“So what are you going to do?” Peter asked.

“He wants me to take him back,” Sonny said, quietly.

“I figured,” Peter said. “And are you going to?”

Sonny nodded. “I think so, yeah,” he said. “Is that awful? I’m really sorry.”

Peter shook his head, “It’s sad, but okay. You have to do what you think is right for you. I can’t force you to stay here if you don’t want to.”

Sonny turned his body in toward Peter. His face was serious. “You’re an amazing person,” he said. “Like, seriously. I’m a moron for leaving. Anyone watching this would say I was a moron.”

Peter put a hand on Sonny’s neck, sliding it behind to cup his head. “I agree,” he said, smiling sadly. “You’re a moron.”

“I’m really sorry,” Sonny repeated.

Peter released his hold on Sonny’s neck. “It’s really okay.”

—-

It was two weeks later that Rafael and Sonny sat in a booth at some nice upper West Side bar, that if Peter had to guess, was one Rafael liked. Rafael’s arm was around Sonny’s shoulder and Sonny had leaned in, whispering into his ear something that made Rafael smirk. They were in their own world, a second honeymoon phase.

Peter stopped at the entrance and considered backing out the door and going somewhere else. He’d been scheduled to meet an old Chicago friend for a drink, but the friend’s flight was delayed and so he’d cancelled last minute. Peter had already been in the Uber when he’d gotten the text and he’d thought he’d just have one alone and then head home. But here he was, feeling like an intruder on Sonny’s new life. He could leave, but he figured this run-in was bound to happen at some point. Why not get it over with now?

He walked forward, taking a seat at the bar with his back to the couple. He could feel their eyes on him.

“Whiskey. Neat,” he told the bartender. He watched her pour it and then he casually took the glass in his hand. “Thank you,” he said. He was just sliding over a 10 dollar bill when he felt heat beside him. It was Sonny. (Of course, it was Sonny.)

“Hey,” he said. Peter turned to the side and gave him a neutral smile. 

“Hi,” he replied, bringing his glass up to his lips and taking a sip. “You look well.”

“You saw me at work 5 hours ago,” Sonny said. 

Peter tilted his head toward Rafael who was watching them from the booth. “That’s not what I meant,” he said.

Sonny blushed, “Ah. Yeah,” he replied. “We can, um, we can go if it’s too…”

Peter waved his hand, “Not at all. Should I go? Am I disturbing your date?”

Sonny shook his head, “No, it wasn’t… Liv was supposed to join us but she had something come up with Noah so it wasn’t really a date so much as a hang.”

Peter nodded, and Sonny hesitated before adding, “Raf actually said I could ask you to join us? If you want? No pressure.”

Huh, Peter thought. Well, this was unexpected. He’d heard plenty about Rafael as an attorney. How cunning he was, and how quick. How smart and cutthroat. Peter thought an invitation such as this was more than just polite. It was asking to be sized up and scrutinized. He thought Rafael wouldn’t think of him as up to the challenge.

“Yeah, actually. That’d be nice,” he said, standing off the stool. Sonny was surprised, but Peter just smiled.

“Okay, great,” Sonny said, walking them back a bit to the booth. Sonny scooted in on one side with Peter next to him. Peter tilted his drink at Rafael, who tilted his back.

“Nice to see you,” he said. Rafael nodded, “You too, counselor.”

Peter laughed, “You can just call me Peter,” he said.

“Noted,” Rafael replied.

Sonny, forever unable to handle silences, jumped in. “I was just telling Rafael about the Gearson case. How you made that piece of shit CEO piss his pants on the stand.”

“Metaphorically,” Peter added.

“I’d hope so,” Rafael quipped.

“I only did it with the cell phone evidence you gave me,” Peter said. Sonny’s ears tinged pink. What was he doing? Peter thought. Complimenting him on his prosecuting in front of Rafael, a man he’d prosecuted. Was he flirting? Peter knew games were a big part of Sonny and Rafael’s deal, but they were not really part of his.

“Peter’s good at his job,” Rafael said. Peter leaned forward, placing both hands around his glass and making eye contact with Rafael.

“What I did wasn’t personal,” he said, softly. “I hope you know that.”

“I understand how the justice system works,” Rafael replied. He sounded defensive and then upset at himself for sounding defensive.

“I respect you very much,” Peter said. “I’ve obviously heard a lot about—“

Rafael snorted, “Cut the crap.”

“Raf,” Sonny said, placing a hand on Rafael’s both in comfort and in warning.

“What crap?” Peter said, keeping his tone light. He wasn’t stressed, just genuinely curious to find out more about this person who cast a shadow over everything he’d done in the last six months.

“The nice guy act,” Rafael said. “Knight in shining under-shirt.”

Peter smiled. “Some good it did me,” he said. He locked eyes with Sonny, who looked extremely worried.

There was a tense beat and then Rafael shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said. Sonny’s shoulders relaxed. 

“How’s Carmen?” Rafael asked. 

For the next fifteen minutes, the conversation flowed almost normally. Peter finished his drink and started to politely extract himself from the booth.

“Are you heading out?” Rafael said.

Peter was a bit startled. “Yeah, I was only going to have one drink,” he said. “I should also leave you guys to it, you know?”

“That’s not necessary,” Rafael said. “In fact, why don’t you join us back at my place for a night cap?”

Peter looked at Sonny, whose eyes were glued to Rafael. When Sonny looked back at him, Peter raised an eyebrow. “How about I use the bathroom and let you two talk it out?” He turned and made his way to the bar’s restroom, looking much more confident than he felt.

Inside the stall, he took a deep breath. What on Earth was happening? They’d had a painless 20 minutes. Why would he overstay his welcome? Why would Rafael invite him to?

Before he had a chance to lock the stall, someone pushed it in. Peter turned around ready to fight an attacker, but it was Sonny. 

“Hey,” he said, like this was perfectly normal.

Peter was so taken aback, he just replied, “Hey.”

“Sorry if this is weird,” he said.

“It’s okay,” Peter said but he wasn’t sure what he was saying was okay. Sitting at a booth sharing a drink with his ex and his ex’s ex, turned new boyfriend? Standing in a crowded bathroom stall with his ex? His ex apologizing for both?

“Can I kiss you?” Sonny asked, and Peter coughed. “I don’t think that’s a good—“

Sonny shook his head, “Rafael knows where I went. He knows what I came in here for.”

Peter furrowed his brow. “And how does he feel about that?”

“He invited you back to his place,” Sonny said, as if it were obvious. Peter looked at him like he was seeing him for the first time. This was an entirely different Sonny than the one he’d known. The Sonny he’d known was a little broken, looking for direction or praise or hope in the wake of what radiated off him as a personal tragedy. This Sonny was confident, a little arrogant, a little terrifying? Not in a bad way though. Rafael seemed to give him an edge that he’d lacked without him. He’d seen Sonny turn on this sort of charm and sensuality with suspects or witnesses but he’d never had it directed at him. Not like this.

Soon though, the facade cracked. Sonny sighed, “Okay, yeah. It was forward. Was it too forward?” Ha. Maybe not that much of an edge, Peter thought. He was still soft and overly considerate, even empowered by Rafael’s influence. He was still a little awkward, a people pleaser.

“It was forward,” Peter conceded. “But I’m not saying no.”

Sonny raised his eyebrows, “Yeah?”

“Is that what you want?” Peter asked.

“Is it what you want?” Sonny countered, stepping closer, in between Peter’s legs. It’d been a lonely couple weeks. Peter had to admit he missed Sonny’s presence in his bed. And Rafael was intriguing like lit dynamite, something dangerous and fiery. They were a very beautiful couple. Peter knew this was a one-time offer. 

“Have you ever done this before?” Peter leaned forward, speaking hot into Sonny’s ear and sliding one hand around Sonny’s waist. Sonny shook his head. “No,” he said. “But I want to.”

“My, my, my,” Peter said, smirking. “You’re gonna have so much to talk about in confession.”

Sonny laughed, placing a hand on Peter’s chest. “Kiss me,” he said. And Peter did.

—-

In the taxi, Sonny sat wedged between Rafael and Peter, wringing his hands together and bouncing his knee until Rafael touched his thigh. “You’re shaking the car,” Rafael said.

Sonny rolled his eyes, “Sorry I’m not a threesome connoisseur like you two apparently are.”

Peter looked up into the car’s mirror and saw the driver staring back. Peter smiled. The driver scowled and looked down. 

“I’m not a connoisseur, Sonny,” Peter shot him a shy look. “Twice hardly makes you an expert.”

Rafael sighed. “You’re both out-classed,” he said. “As usual.”

He called out to the driver. “This is me,” he said. He handed the driver some cash and opened the door, stepping out. Peter got out on his side. Sonny got out on Rafael’s side. 

Once inside, Rafael greeted his doorman, who did not look as phased as he should have been by the presence of two men following Rafael to the elevator. The building was very nice, located on the Upper West side about 20 blocks from the bar. The apartment was also tasteful. The decor was black and gray, monochromatic, and the shelves were full of books but also colorful knickknacks, possibly gifts and souvenirs from trips to Cuba.

“Can I get you a drink, Peter?” Rafael said as Peter and Sonny hung up their coats. He noted the pointed use of his first name.

“Whiskey,” he said. “Thank you.”

Sonny gestured for them to sit on the couch. Sonny’s hands were still wringing together. Peter reached over and put his own over them. Sonny looked at him and smiled. Rafael came over and handed them both whiskeys in roc glasses. His suspenders were down off his shoulders and his sleeves were now rolled up. Peter watched him sit in his armchair without a drink himself. A power move.

Rafael was intoxicating. Peter could see Sonny’s infatuation with him. He’d built a very careful upperclass life for himself, despite his humble beginnings and noble pursuit outside the private law firm life. He wore it like armor. He was well-dressed. He smelled good. He made you feel like you needed to impress him. For someone like Sonny, it was a perfect storm of admiration and desire. 

“So Peter,” Rafael said, making very intense eye contact. “What do you want?”

Peter choked out a laugh. “You know, Rafael,” he said, taking a long swallow of whiskey and setting his drink down on the coffee table. “I’d like to see what all the fuss is about.”

For the first time, Rafael smiled. Not smirked but smiled. “Should we show him, Sonny?”

Sonny finished his entire drink in one go and stood up, extending a hand to Rafael. Peter also finished his drink and stood.

“Shall we?” Rafael asked Peter. The couple walked ahead of Peter, leading him to the bedroom.


End file.
